Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Back from Portland.

I'm back from Portland, where my first attempt at marraging two people up seemed to go pretty well.

When we were planning the ceremony, I asked my friends what they'd like me to say when I pronounced them husband and wife. I've been to a lot of weddings, and I've heard a lot of different authorities cited. Sometimes it's "By the authority given me by god and the holy Catholic church." Or "By the authority vested in me by the state of California."

I really didn't know how to handle that. In some ways, it seems like a product placement in the wedding, like the officiant is saying, "This wedding brought to you by God, the new Pontiac Sunfire, and the letter G."

So I asked what they'd like best, and there was a long pause. Then my friend said, "How about, 'By the power of Grayskull?'"

We all had a good laugh, but I have to say that when the time came, the temptation to actually say it was almost overwhelming. I'm still a little disappointed in myself that I didn't. I mean, that's a wedding story that they could have told for years and years.

If you're curious as to what I look like when I'm pretending to be a grown-up, here it is:

Enjoy the sight of me in a tie. It probably won't happen again for years. Longer if I have any say in things. Which I do.

While out in Portland, the folks I was hanging out with wanted to go to Brewfest: a A big shindig where, apparently, 60,000 people show up to try all sorts of clever local beers. They were all excited about it, so I went along for moral support, and possibly to hold their hair out of their faces while they puked.

But here's the thing. I don't drink.

I can drink, and I occasionally do. It's just that, generally speaking, I don't. I don't like the taste of beer or wine, and alcohol is a drug that has nothing to offer me. I'm plenty uninhibited. And the three or four inhibitions I've kept serve a vital purpose. They are like heavy chains restraining my true inner nature. Without them, I would devolve into a pure Dionysian force that would rampage through the countryside. While this would be a lot of fun for me and the Bacchae, I worry about the damage we might inflict on the general populace. Hence my restraint.

[Note to self: group costume idea.]

So the fact that I don't drink, combined with my dislike of crowds, drunks, and noise meant that Brewfest really wasn't my scene. So I left my friends to booze it up and went to visit Powells.

I was not disappointed. It's like book Valhalla. The sort of place where I could spend a long weekend very happily gathering more books than I can carry, afford, or load into a car.

What's more, they had a bunch of copies of NOTW there, both hardcover and the paperback. I'm guessing I signed about two dozen, so if you're in the area, odds are you can still get in there and grab one.

They also had me sign their author wall, which was pretty cool....

If you look closely, you'll probably recognise a few names there...

That's all for now, folks. Be good to each other.


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posted by Pat at


Blogger marky said...

By the power of greyskull would have been brilliant. How good would it have been if you said it. Then everybody got to there feet and retorted "we have the power!" I'ts 8:30am here in sunny Scotland and I'm laughing my ass off. Cheers Pat for starting my day with a smile.

July 30, 2008 1:28 AM  
Blogger Micah Cowan said...

Heh, cool. Brian Froud even drew a little creature.

Man, I hope the Power of the Dark Crystal doesn't suck...

July 30, 2008 1:41 AM  
Blogger susan said...

You looked really serious and the suit looks good on you. I am curious, what did you say???

I understand the drinking problem. When I was a lot younger (in Holland we start earlier with drinking) I did drink a lot of alcohol when we went to a party but now I never drink alcohol. It is not that I'm against it, I just don't know what to drink. I just don't like beer and wine. It's no fun to be completely sober in a drunk mass. But you did have a nice day and you signed the wall!!!

July 30, 2008 2:22 AM  
Blogger Tia Nevitt said...

I have the same attitude toward drinking. People rarely understand other people who prefer not to drink.

I usually get a token glass of wine and nurse it all night. It makes me look more social.

Congrats on performing the ceremony!

July 30, 2008 3:33 AM  
Blogger Captain Joe said...

Powells sounds like a place where magic is born. One day I shall venture there.

Patman, I guess you can add 'marraging two people' to the resume now. That's awesome. "By the power of Grayskull" would have led to a very pregnant pause, followed by copious amounts of laughter. No doubt.

In other news, Pat's gracing Youtube again in part two of that interview:

Satirical urban fantasy, Pat? Yes-please-now!

July 30, 2008 4:02 AM  
Blogger Jeff said...

Pat, I must say that your handwriting is horrible, it's a close second to mine. Robin Hobb, giddiness...

Oh, I see you certainly had a great time with your friends. And that beard's looking nice there, accompanied with that tie.

July 30, 2008 4:04 AM  
Blogger Sarah said...

I will have that said at my wedding, but then again I was planning to have a sword arch so it would fit the general theme. (might want to find a groom first though hmmm...)

As for drinking my general responses for my lack of alcoholic beverages are threefold.

1. The alcohol I do drink is ridiculously expensive and outside of my budget.
2. I am designated sober person. (this would be driver but I can't drive)

And lastly next time I am in America I will be visiting Powells, it sounds like my kind of place
3. I have a camera and am sober you are drunk... beware

July 30, 2008 6:15 AM  
Blogger Wysen said...

I laughed at the Grayskull comment but I laughed louder at:
"This wedding brought to you by God, the new Pontiac Sunfire, and the letter G."

That just made my day.

July 30, 2008 7:47 AM  
Anonymous sienged said...

I have to agree with Wysen.

Plus in theory G could stand for Grayskull.

Over all I thought the update was great Pat. But something was missing I couldn't quite put my finger on it.

So "enlarged" the picture but I still couldn't figure it out.

July 30, 2008 8:05 AM  
Blogger Mike Toot said...

Gratz on the successful marraging of your friends. Maybe you can combine two things: group cosplay of Bacchus + maidens, and marraging some friends. That ought to make for one heck of a wedding! (Send me an invite, please. :D )

Powell's is indeed paradise. Every couple of years my wife and I take the train to Portland from Seattle and spend a giddy day walking around the aisles. The tough thing is that we each take a "hit list" of books we're looking for, and finding those items takes the whole day -- there is little time to wander and randomly browse interesting things.

Glad your trip was a safe, fun, and successful one!

July 30, 2008 9:42 AM  
Anonymous Kalligenia said...

You look sharp in a suit, Mr. Rothfuss. But you look kick-ass as a pirate! I had an Elvis do my wedding, but the power of Greyskull would have been so cool.

I will have sweet, sweet dreams about Powells. Book stores like that do weird and wonderful things to me. I'm a bibliophile and sober person for life. Never had a sip of alcohol and don't have the desire to. Nope, I'm not religious. Good books are my high! Heck, even trashy books are good sometimes to get my fix!

July 30, 2008 10:53 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Pat, I must say that your handwriting is horrible, it's a close second to mine. Robin Hobb, giddiness..."

That is almost exactly what I said to Pat after he signed two copies of NOTW for me.

July 30, 2008 12:22 PM  
Blogger Kelly Swails said...

Dude. That suit is HOT. ;)

July 30, 2008 1:02 PM  
Blogger Chro said...

Aww, you really should've said 'By the power of Greyskull'. :(

Two friends of mine got married, and had another one of our friends play the organ music. When the groom kissed the bride, the church lit up with the battle victory music from final fantasy. The bride, the groom, and the groom's side of the church all bust out laughing and cheering, while the bride's family looked very, very confused.

July 30, 2008 1:45 PM  
OpenID elizaw said...

Ironically, I bought your book at Powell's. It was my first and only trip, while on vacation in Oregon. I'd been considering hunting it down since I saw the ad on the Goblins webcomic. :D The sheer size of the fantasy section made my eyes go wide. I could happily live in that store, I suspect...

July 30, 2008 1:56 PM  
OpenID davidkeck said...


That picture is excellent. I like the Fantasy Island / Loveboat palette.

(And the Froud! You're near a Froud!)

July 30, 2008 2:57 PM  
Blogger Steve said...

The wife and I came in to the Rocky theme. I designed Boxing Style posters as the invitations. It was fun.

July 30, 2008 3:23 PM  
Blogger Touchstone said...

This post has been removed by the author.

July 30, 2008 3:59 PM  
Blogger Touchstone said...

Pat, it always seems like you're doing something interesting. Me on the other hand... Well, today at work I got to stare at this bug on the wall. It was trying to get loose from this sticky stuff, and it almost got away, but in the end it just seemed to accept its fate and lie there in misery. I felt so bad for it that I let it go.

And that was it. That was my day. Saving the world, one cricket at a time. Interesting stuff, right?

July 30, 2008 4:02 PM  
Blogger Sedulo said...

Congratulations to your friends. I was at a Star Wars themed wedding where they played the Imperial March as the bride was walked down the aisle by her Jedi clad father. It will never be forgotten.

I also do not drink. I mean I am the glass of wine at special occasions type but I really really do understand about the inhibitions thing. Whoa. The inhibitions I do have must remain in place for so many reasons...

Powell's is so fantastic. I live only a state away and in an area known for excellent bookstores, but Powell's. You can get lost in there.

Thank you for the blog. I realy enjoy reading it.

July 30, 2008 9:13 PM  
Blogger Rachel said...

Being part of the UCLA SF/F/H/Geek club (which includes a few who are authorized to officiate at marriages) has led to a few interesting ceremonies. One started with the officiant quoting most of the "Mawwiage...." speech from Princess Bride (minus the lisp), but I think my favorite was when a different officiant started by solemnly quoting from the Book of Champions (3rd Edition).

July 30, 2008 10:35 PM  
Blogger Pat said...

Heh. I played 3rd edition champions for a long while.

These days it's called the Hero system, and it what I use when I role play. Great system.

July 30, 2008 11:28 PM  
Anonymous Jennifer said...

I know I'm late commenting, but too bad. I'm doing it anyway.

You do look nice in the suit, Pat, I'd have to agree. If I ever get married again, I might have to hire you. :)

My husband and I had a pretty normal wedding. My mother's minister preformed it for us because I liked and respected her. Most of my friends thought it was strange that the Pagan (me) and the agnostic (him) were having the big white church wedding. No church, really, it was an outside wedding at a park area. Highlights include the dogwalker coming through with her pack about halfway through. My husband and I are confirmed geeks. We met online in a Star Trek chat room. When we walked in at the reception, my sister had the DJ play the theme to Next Generation. It's a match made in nerd heaven, I can assure you.

July 31, 2008 9:50 AM  
Anonymous Ellen said...

You were in Portland? I'm sad you didn't call, we could've explored Powell's together - I love that place! I'm in Wisconsin for a few days and have to go to Waupaca, so SP isn't far off if you want to grab coffee or something. It would be great to see you and S.


July 31, 2008 10:49 AM  
Blogger Mehitabel said...

Be glad you weren't at that accursed brewfest. It's very overcrowded these days and people are packed into the tents so tightly they can barely move. It takes half an hour to make your way to the head of line to get beer, and by that time they've usually finished off the keg and are offering something completely different from what you got in line for. And I don't even care about beer that much - I was just there to keep my boyfriend company! If your friends insist on going somewhere with beer the next time you're here, you should go to the Horse Brass Pub - they have all the unusual microbrews your friends could possibly want, and a lot of dark, English, half-timbered ambience. You could have a ploughman's lunch, a pastie, or a Scotch egg and a Coke and soak up the atmosphere. Right now it's kind of smoky but by law that will end in '09. I'm glad you found Powell's - it is one of the highlights of this city and, like one of the previous commenters. it's where I bought your book.

July 31, 2008 11:35 AM  
Blogger Green, not Granola said...

Well this post has be convinced, in Neal Stephenson terms (see Cryptonomicon) you are definitely a Hobbit!! I soooooo wish you'd said by the power of grayskull. Do you think anyone would have even noticed? I mean, who really listens to the actual ceremony? I haven't even read your book yet (nervous that I'll have the hair-tear-out experience I had when I ran out of George RR Martin books and realize I'd have to wait YEARS for the next one) but I follow your blog regularly... Stay golden!

July 31, 2008 12:46 PM  
Blogger Judy said...

Hi Pat -

It is official. I normally laugh quite a bit when I read your blog, and feel pretty poorly about myself that I am nowhere near as witty. But this is only the second time in my 34 years that I have actually snorted soda (or anything else for that matter) out of my nose...happened while reading the Pontiac Sunfire and Letter G line. As a mother of 3 8 and under, I have a WHOLE other take on that kind of statement. I only wish I had had the chutzpah to use something like that at my own wedding 10 years ago.....

On a side note, I have to tell you that playing the "Guess what YOU did last night" is SO much more fun than actually drinking. The whole loss of control thing....just can't do it. As my husband is a former marine, it usually isn't much of an argument when I say, "No honey, it's ok, YOU drink tonight. I don't mind being the DD again. Really." And honestly, I DON'T mind. Much more enjoyable watching others stumble around than doing it myself.

Anyway, I am currently stuck on the east coast, trying desperately to figure out how to get to Powells. I wish we had something comparable over here - but I can't think of anywhere. Does anyone else on the board here know of somewhere as heavenly??

Congrats on the author wall - took me a bit to embiggen, but I got it eventually. I just wish it wasn't in yellow!

Have a great night..... You looked AWESOME in your suit!!!

July 31, 2008 8:09 PM  
Anonymous pdxtrent said...

As another Stumptowner, I'd like to say....Thanks for saying such nice things about Portland. In it's own way it's miserable here in winter too. Awesome on getting to marry your friends, that's a moment you will get to flash back on in it's coolness forever. Boo that I missed you at both the Brefest and Church..... err....Powell's (you know, someplace one should go once a week at least, for the sanctity of the soul?). I saw some of the signed books when I was in, but they're down to just papaerbacks and I am a snob and will wait til you can sign my first edition hardcover(bought at Powell's incidently).
Hope to see you coming out here again soon, maybe to visit Church for a signing after book 2 is out?

And Capt. Joe? This is where magic is born. Really. We have McKillip and LeGuin right here in the City.

(Judy, depending on where you're at, try the Strand in NYC).

July 31, 2008 9:23 PM  
Blogger Jessica said...

You clean up so nice, Pat!

And, either you were lying about owning only one pair of shoes, or you bought another pair for the wedding. That's real dedication.

I love Powell's. I sometimes fantasize about hiding in their at night when they close the store, so I could have the whole place to myself all night. But really, it would take a lifetime to enjoy everything in there. Sigh. Nice place. Good vibes.

August 1, 2008 10:55 AM  
Blogger Martin-san said...

Whoa! Robin Hobb and Elizabeth Moon! I might have to steal that wall. On a nother note I thank the inventors of the press and printing systems seeing as I would have a hard time reading books if all authors write like that (not in a position to whine).

August 1, 2008 11:09 AM  
Blogger Judy said...

Thanks Pdxtrent - I grew up on Long Island, and still have friends in the city. Will have to find the Strand when I make my way back up there in a few weeks! :)

August 1, 2008 12:07 PM  
Anonymous maarten said...

Just a quick note:
I picked out Brian Froud his Faerie!

August 5, 2008 4:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey -- I found Orson Scott Card! ...and it looks like he signed a solid year before anybody else... heh, seems like something he'd do ;-)

August 5, 2008 8:00 PM  
Blogger Laura said...

I have a me-too story, too!

I kept the wedding mostly traditional for the sake of the in-laws, but my groom and I entered the reception to The Imperial March. John Williams rocks.

I'm another one of those not-quite-social-drinkers. I'll have a single glass of sweet red wine once or twice a year, when it's free. Never really developed a taste for alcohol, and why spend so much cash on something I don't enjoy?

"This marriage brought to you by..." is brilliant.

August 21, 2008 4:56 PM  

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