Well folks, I'm in Rome. And you know what they say, "When in Rome, do what the Romans do."
Personally, I'm assuming that the Romans blog.
My overall impressions of Rome will have to wait for a while. As will the anecdotes of my first few fumbling days as a world traveler.
For now, I just wanted everyone to know that:
1. I did not die in a terrible plane-type accident.
2. I will be posting up a blog about my UK reading/signing dates and times as soon as they're all set up and solid. So far we've got the firm details on a Manchester signing at Waterstones on the 28th swtarting at 7:00. More specifics so that will be up on the Tour Schedule page soon.
3. Lastly, for those of you that care about this sort of thing, I got the first draft of book two finished Manuscript printed and mailed to my editor two hours before I got on my plane. To say it was a bit of a rush doesn't really convey the frantic nature of the past two weeks of my life.
The manuscript is a beast, by the way. Here's a quick picture I snapped of it. Included is the US hardcover to give some perspective.
Thing is huge. Took more than 3 reams of paper to print. Took six hours just to spellcheck....
Do you know what it's like to run spellcheck for six hours? It's like a party in purgatory. A party in purgatory where all they have to drink is sugar-free Kool-aid, and the only game to play is Monopoly, and none of your friends show up.
On an unrelated note, recently, I got a really funny piece of fanmail from someone telling me how to live my life. I was going to post it up in a blog and make fun of it, but then I wondered if that would make me a dick.
I mean, it is my nature to mock. It is my way. It's who I am. I try to be honest about the me that I show here on the blog.
But at the same time, when I wrote the College Survival Guide, I developed powerful mocking abilities. Like superhero-level stuff. I don't know if it's fair to turn the withering blowtorch of my sarcasm onto an unsuspecting person who just happens to be a clueless, controling, passive-agressive fucker.
What do y'all think? Mock or not?
More later, as soon as I can get internet access again.
pat
Personally, I'm assuming that the Romans blog.
My overall impressions of Rome will have to wait for a while. As will the anecdotes of my first few fumbling days as a world traveler.
For now, I just wanted everyone to know that:
1. I did not die in a terrible plane-type accident.
2. I will be posting up a blog about my UK reading/signing dates and times as soon as they're all set up and solid. So far we've got the firm details on a Manchester signing at Waterstones on the 28th swtarting at 7:00. More specifics so that will be up on the Tour Schedule page soon.
3. Lastly, for those of you that care about this sort of thing, I got the first draft of book two finished Manuscript printed and mailed to my editor two hours before I got on my plane. To say it was a bit of a rush doesn't really convey the frantic nature of the past two weeks of my life.
The manuscript is a beast, by the way. Here's a quick picture I snapped of it. Included is the US hardcover to give some perspective.
Do you know what it's like to run spellcheck for six hours? It's like a party in purgatory. A party in purgatory where all they have to drink is sugar-free Kool-aid, and the only game to play is Monopoly, and none of your friends show up.
On an unrelated note, recently, I got a really funny piece of fanmail from someone telling me how to live my life. I was going to post it up in a blog and make fun of it, but then I wondered if that would make me a dick.
I mean, it is my nature to mock. It is my way. It's who I am. I try to be honest about the me that I show here on the blog.
But at the same time, when I wrote the College Survival Guide, I developed powerful mocking abilities. Like superhero-level stuff. I don't know if it's fair to turn the withering blowtorch of my sarcasm onto an unsuspecting person who just happens to be a clueless, controling, passive-agressive fucker.
What do y'all think? Mock or not?
More later, as soon as I can get internet access again.
pat
Labels: book two, foreign happenings
posted by Pat at 10:56 PM
264 Comments:
Mock please!
I'm all for unrepentant obliteration, but it might make you a bit of a jerk. Still, so long as you're not giving out his email address or identifying him in some way, it seems harmless enough. It's obviously your call, sir, but if it were me I would probably choose mocking.
Well, congratulations on finishing the manuscript. Now you can tour the world in peace, without it hanging over your head!
You mess with fire, you get burned. Mock'em.
Jared
MOCK! please Pat, mock your hilarious ass off, please!!! Also, congrats on the manuscript. I'm sure I could never imagine the stress and time and love you poured into it. But I'm also sure it's gonna be great, perhaps even better than NotW *gasp* so thanks again, for all your hard work. looking forward to some world-class mockery.
my vote is for mocking!!!
Awesome stuff, Pat! :-) We all know how hard you've been working and the stress you've been under - it'll all pay off! Congrats!
P.S. leave the poor guy alone - he's (or she's) probably one of those sorry types who get some weird kick out of being knocked down to size by someone with a life. :-)
No need to waste time on people like that. You're on a vacation of sorts. Enjoy yourself. Though if mocking that guy sweetens your trip then by all means mock away but if you feel that your time would be better spent doing other things then let it be. Grats on finishing the manuscript. It looks monstrously entertaining.
What I am wondering is whether or not a novel of that length will be able to fit into a hardbound book. Three reams is already 1500 pages! I guess it's single sided, and it's in manuscript layout, so it should condense quite a bit...
Also, why are you sending a printed manuscript at all? Surely they won't need to hand type that all into the computer again! Why not send a nice, tidy electronic file?
But anyways, Yay! It's nice to know that the end is in sight. Now for the editors to dig into it!
How the hell did you spellcheck that shit in six hours. That's sick xD But awesome anyway xP
Have fun in Rome Mr.Patfuss.
6 hours?? I was fed up after 2 hours spent with the spell-checking of my last story.
Worst thing is when you try to believe what Word wants to tell you and Open Office hates the new words. I'm very confused about that. Hope you didn't have to go through that, too (Please don't start spell-checking in 2 different programms, it
s really annoying).
Anyway, have fun in Europe and mock your head of!
Holy Crap that's HUGE.... It's thick and probably tangled up plots and all that. Kinda reminds me of your beard in a way... Tis a thing of beauty. I can only imagine the postage it took to mail that thing off. Congrats. Not only will Sarah be giving birth, but after 6 hours in purgatory, you will too!
Oh and if it is in your nature to mock, then mock you must, for as Shakespeare once wrote, "to thine own self be true." meh... it'll be good for a laugh.
Enjoy Rome with your family.
vote number 8 for mock! (vs a piddling 3 votes for not mock, I'm thinking mocking should win).
There's quite a difference between wishing an author would finish a book faster, and writing to said author to lecture them about how they spend their time. I'm sure your publishers and assistants lecture you enough, nobody needs some ignorant frothing fanboy doing the same.
Absolutely stoked about book two by the way! That thing is a beast, might take me two sittings this time (depending on how many sick days I take this time :P)
Have fun in Rome!
yeah, have fun in rome!! hopefully the weather's good, in rome you have to walk quite a bit, if i remember it well... remember to go see "fontana di trevi" and throw a coin in the water :)
congratulations for the new book!!! how many pages is it going to be, when printed out?? i am a read-a-holic, so i'm not worried about the huge number it's going to come out :P the bigger, the better!
it surprised me a bit that you need to send it all printed out, anyway. i'm writing short stories for children and i never had to send anything different from word files, so far, lucky me (but they're *hardly* that long!!!)
ciao, have fun everybody and... well, mock only if you really have to... some people just do not have a lot to do in their own life, they are miserable enough like that - this is only my opinion, of course!
The cries so far have been to mock. Fair enough; mocking is entertainment and we wish to be entertained. But that poor bloke (or lass) maybe just needs a break. Why not shrug, move on, and forget all about it? I'm sure you have some cutting and witty response; you always do. It's one reason why we all love you. You've already proven aspect of yourself, though, and I bet there are more than enough other topics to discuss in a clever and entertaining way without denigrating this sad sap.
Ah mock him of course! (So many freaks, not enough circuses...)
That is a damn good-looking mountain of paper by the way, am doing a surreptitious 'happy dance' in the office.
Have a ball in Rome!
Kerry Mac
Mockery is great and personally I can't get enough of it, but I think you've set yourself up to fail here.
If you do mock him publicly now, I think it will definitely damage your image with some people. And after all you've got the Rothfuss brand (being an allround nice guy) to think about. Once you lose that you can never get it back.
See you in Amsterdam Pat!
Mock
Mock the hell out of the poor dumb bastard. He knew what he was getting into.
-Steven
oh dear god please mock! if someone's going to write a stupid letter then they should expect a stupid response. that is not to say that your response will be by any means stupid but you catch my drift! as for the size of that manuscript: good god man!
What's the point in having a withering, whirling blowtorch of napalmy, acidic destructive sarcasm if not to turn it on and melt someone into a puddle of used-to-be-a-blustery-idiot? Besides, the rules state you aren't a jerk unless you insult first. It's only fair that the original attacker be called on their complete and utter asshattery.
Prego, Prego!
Na, I wouldn't mock em. I'd send them back an email on how to run their life. It's your call. While I appreciate people can be arseholes, public humiliation only exacerbates the situation.
Anyway, I'm gagging to know how you're finding us Europeans. We're a classy bunch, eh? And what great drivers we are too!
So the manuscript is off to your editor. Brilliant news!
Enjoy Rome, It's a beautiful city. You’ve picked the right time to visit, the weather is great here.
Marky
Not sure if you've decided what you're doing in Rome yet, but if you haven't checked it out I highly recommend the Trevi Fountain, especially at night while it's entirely backlit. Most beautiful thing I have ever seen in my travels.
As for the rest, congratulations on the finished manuscript, and more importantly the extra sleep. Roast the jerk.
Congratulations on the manuscript! Having it finished must make life look a lot more pleasant.
I agree with the previous post that Rome is beautiful this time of year. Also the weather perfectly compliments all the amazing gelato (like ice-cream but nicer and healthier for those who don't know) you get on almost every street corner.
While I wouldn't dare presume to tell you how to live your life... :)
I definitely recommend it.
On the subject of mocking: please mock. Your rants bring smiles to so many people that the humiliation of some self important dick is a small price to pay.
5000 smiles >> 1 frown.
PS. awaiting Manchester's signing with baited breath.
PPS. Just thought, maybe the "advice" giver knew how said advice would make you deliciously angry and did it deliberately to give you something to rant happily about. Maybe this is a kind of self sacrifice for the greater good? If so it would be churlish of you to turn down such a generous gift...
Mock, of course.
Wait, Pat, was that my letter? Don't mock! Don't mock!
Just follow my instructions, dammit!
Since a quick glance shows mocking taking a commanding lead, I shall be a contrarian. I suggest parceling the mockery out indirectly over time. Reference it in passing... "That's like telling someone to ...".
That pile of paper is impressive, but I was amazed that you printed it on paper. I can't imagine a publisher preferring that to getting a Word file via email.
You have to ask yourself.
What would Kvothe do in this situation?
Mock. Ruthlessly, efficientlty and possibly fataly.
MY GOD U ROCK. cant w8 for the release now :D hope they take pity on us and speed up the release date :P
MOCK!
If you took the time to submit a letter to an author, you probably noticed the blog on his website. So if you proceed to mail that letter, you know there is at least some chance your letter may be brought up there.
Mock...
Mock...
Mock...
Congrats to nearly finishing book two! That means to me, reading ist getting nearer ;-)
Mocking? If the letter is insulting, vent your anger. if the letter is just poor, depresssive and jealous, leave it - as Chichoci said, waste of time.
Greets from Germany to wonderful Rome (regarding gelato: try Della Palma, via della Maddalena)
P.S. I am confused, that you blog ba day.....
"La Palma" -- Scusi!
Chalk up another vote for Mock!
About the manuscript. In the words of Tiny Elvis (of SNL fame): "Man, lookit that thang! Man that thang is huuugge!"
Hope you enjoyed Rome!
Pat,
It's true that mocking now would only hurt your image. That's why, you should just post the message, and let us mock in the comments!
Ben
Ok, first, from one mocker to another - you MUST mock. Do not deny your inner mocking child, or you will suffer until your head blows.
Or at least, you'll end up mocking something serious that will get you mocked on your ass (ha. I'm clever).
I know this. For I have been there.
Second - I may throw a party now. For I have spawned a legion of rabid NotW fans here in the boondocks and I fear if I don't, I may have to buy a shotgun - apparently *I'm* supposed to know when #2 is coming out.
Now, my dear Mr. Rothfuss, mock away!
.
.
.
.
.
please?
~Ajaye
Can't WAIT to read the new book - even though I will have to.
I JUST LOVE it when people tell me how to run my life - what a joy - what a bloody incredible relief that SOMEONE is so bored with their own existence that they have the time and fortitude to study my life through a microscope AND send me helpful comments. It must be so painful for them when I ignore them completely - but on the other hand it does give them something else to rail about...and would so hate to disappoint them by turning all perfect-like!
Have fun in Rome -
Constructive mocking is the vote I would choose. Glad to hear your trip is going well. And even more excited to hear that book two is on the next step which brings it that much closer to being completed.
Happy to see this huge pile of paper.
Congrats!
Couldn't you just make two books out of it? Would be easier to take along...
Though I would surely enjoy your mocking, I consider a letter as something personal, so I feel it shouldn't be discussed in public.
Maybe he didn't mean it mean by any means ;)
(Sorry, those words just had to be written. Pardon my English.)
Have fun!
Go for it Pat...unless it was me who wrote whatever it is your about to ravage. But otherwise, you answered this question in the begining of the blog..."When in Rome, do as the Romans do."
where do I find this legendary College Survival Guide of yours?
Oh - Heat up the blowtorch and burn the bastard. You're on vacation. Live a little. :-)
I'm sure you know that Team Mock is going to be in the majority here, because that's just the way the internet works.
Not that I'm knocking that, mind you. Mock! (Or at least post the letter, so that we can imagine the mocking it would have gotten?).
I am de-lurking to cast a vote for mocking the self-absorbed asshole.
*joins the angry mob* MOCK! MOCK! MOCK!...
Mock! Otherwise, how will they learn?
And YAY for the manuscript!!!!!
Also, please blog asap regarding hilarity of world travel.
Peace out.
Totally Mock
That is one huge block of paper.... but guess what? Knowing that it is finished and ready for the editing makes the four back-to-back final exams looming over my head for today that much less threatening.
AS for the mocking... I guess it depends on if they were being dickish about it and took the time to write it out themselves or if it's one of those "Fwd 2 10 ppl & u get ur wish!" kind of things. If it's the former, I vote just sending them an irritable e-mail, if it's the later, mock away in a slightly non-dickish way. Since you set yourself up for it, you might seem like a not-so-nice guy if you really wail on them.
But that's just me.
Toodles! I'm off to eight hours of finals.
Hi Pat,
Congrats on the finished manuscript. Hope you're enjoying Europe.
On the question of whether to mock or not, I think that it is only fair that whilst in the home of Juvenal, the father of mockery, you mock!
Happy mocking.
Hope you're having a great time in Rome. I'm totally jealous, by the way. I did convince my husband that we should have a vacation before our baby is born in September, but Rome is not in the cards. We're going to Las Vegas instead.
I totally squealed at the pic of the manuscript. That thing looks damn impressive. Oh I hope that we get and advance copy at work before too long. Blood might be shed over who gets to read it first amongst my coworkers.
And finally, as to the person who told you how to live your life and the question of mocking said person. That really depends, I think. Was it done with the intent of offering advice and being helpful, or was it done is a "You suck. Let me show you how to be awesome like me" sort of way? I'm assuming the latter, but since I haven't seen the letter, I don't know. Honestly, it annoys me so much when random people think they know better than I do about my own life. Or when people make random snide comments directed towards me. For example, I was sitting at a local Chinese place, stuffing my face with my dinner in the time I had after work and before my Knit Club meeting. I am 5 months pregnant, remember. There were 3 teenager girls splitting a bowl of steamed rice and going on loudly about how healthy they were eating. I was reading a book and listening to my iPod, but I could still hear them. One of the girls points at me with her chopsticks and says, "I'm glad we're eating right and not stuffing our faces like that woman there." I lay my book down, look up at her and say, "I'm glad I learned manners and don't have to make personal comments towards a pregnant woman I don't know." Then I picked my book back up and went back to my dinner. Oh, it was enjoyable to see them beat a hasty retreat, followed by the laughter of some of the other patrons. Sometimes, people just need to be knocked down a peg.
Mock!
MOCK time!
Can someone please explain to me why the publishing industry still requires printed manuscripts in the digital era? PDFs are extremely portable and allow easy annotations for your publisher to give you line edits.
Is it just so that they don't have to pay for printing costs for editors that are not comfortable reading from a screen (or a Kindle)?
I vote for posting the e-mail and letting the readers mock him.
*engage chant mode*
Mock!
Mock!
Mock!
Mock!
Mock!
*disengage chant mode*
Oh, that huge pile of paper sweetens my day, as I hope it sweetened yours. :-) Just looking at it makes my heart beat faster.
Enjoy Rome and have fun, you definitly earn it!
The fanmail thing made me thoughtful, you know. At first, I was for mocking, because I wanted to laugh, but then I thought about the poor guy, who made this terrible mistake - and suddenly I felt sorry for him. It won't be too much fun for him.
We all love you, sir, and personally, I would suffer a lot if you made fun of me.
It's one thing to be slapped in the face by an enemy, but by your favorite author?
Maybe you should turn this case over to higher powers, meaning: ask Sarah!
She knows you, she knows the mail, she seems to be nice, and she has the Belly of Power ;-)
I don't feel so bad about whoever wrote that letter, but I'm in agreement with some others here. It would probably hurt your public image. I think that person would know by now, and if he doesn't, then it means that he's not reading the blog and therefore won't be able to cry over being mocked.
But I'm happy as everyone about the manuscript. XD If we find any spelling mistakes, we'll just keep them as a souvenir.
The person might be a jerk, but there has to be an understanding of personal privacy when letters are exchanged - you know, freedom of speech and all.
Any chance you'll be flying into New York after this Euro trip?
That is a sizeable stack of paper.
Please condense to hardcover and send my way at your earliest convenience.
Also, mocking annoying fanmail is your right. We promise to enjoy it.
Oh hell yeah, mock. The idiot shouldn't have sent a stupid letter to begin with. People like that should know what will happen to them if they do.
Mock! And looking forward to seeing you in London - will you be doing readings as well???
Yes! Yes Mockery! I've missed it since you stopped writing for the Pointer, and the Guide can only sate mock hunger for so long.
Mock the $%#* out of him/her. Mock 'em so hard that they--well...er...you get the idea.
Something cool:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LsnFvEQYJPU&feature=related
This is the kind of crazy-complicated picture (video?) I get in my head when I think of anyone performing Savien Traliard. Except, you know, with a vocal part, and less of the audience wearing Birkenstocks and smoking clove.
If a fan writes you a letter than clearly they are hoping for a response.
Carefully crafted sarcasm is a joy. You should share the joy.
Mock.
Also, as someone who used to live in Rome, may I recommend for one of your nights for dinner going to a little place called Nuraghe Sardo. It's up the hill from Piazze degli Eroi on Via Medaglie d'Oro, very near to the Cipro Metra station. It's really some of the best and most authentic Roman cuisine you will find. I lived in Rome for a year and it's a place that I think you would love eating at.
By all means, mock them. I think it'll be hilarious and more than a little karma to that useless person.
Ego inrideo ergo sum.
I'm excited, one more step towards getting that big boy in my hands! Of course, I'll have to fight my husband for it. He introduced me to The Name of the Wind last year and it's now my favorate read!
I've also been reading your blog over the last few days... I found it while searching for the release date of book 2.
We're currently stationed in England, so maybe we'll make it to a book signing! Or if you'd like some freebee portraits of the two (err... three) of you, let me know!
PS - I think it's just asking to be mocked!
I vote no mocking. Save it for someone who you can't ignore as easily.
Congrats on getting the draft in! 6 hours of spellcheck - a hell of a dream date, I'll bet! All while you're trying to get the hell out of Dodge.
Rome is a wonderful place - I go there once a year (my gf lives there, as did I back in the early 90s). Antiquities abound and they're wonderful to see, but maybe hook up with a local and do the 'living in Rome' bit just for a day. Or, maybe head for the Amalfi Coast for a night.
As for the mocking bit - would that be therapeutic for you? Cathartic? I say do what you feel and let the chips fall where they may.
Damn, I want that manuscript. Can I volunteer to do spellcheck on the book 3 manuscript? *blinks in utter innocence*
Congratulations on finishing that monster. Can't wait to read it :o)
Oh, and please, do the mocking. I believe as long as you keep the identity secret it's fine. Anyone who writes you fanmail should have some semblence of what kind of person you are or what you do and do not appreciate in fanmail. So, yeah, I believe you have every right unleash your superpowers.
Yours,
Inkcharm
I vote for Nice Pat & Evil Pat - a response from each
If someone feels they can tell you how to live your life then they leave the door wide open to a full salvo. Please blast away.
My vote - Mock away!
Mock!and holy crap that's a big manuscript.
how many words is it? looks well over 300k to me
Mock!! Though, only because us humans take perverse enjoyment out of the embarrassment/misery/stupidity of others. But I didn't write the letter...
Mock away! You can get away with it, just remind them it isn't personal, it's not them, it's you.
P.S. My parents did the whole Europe thing when I was a little unborn fetus as well... do you have any idea how irritating, annoying and most importantly BORING in a start clawing your ears off kind of way it was to hear the "Bryn's been to Italy, France, England, Ireland! She was a world traveler before she was born! That means she is going to be a President or an Ambassador! "
Don't do that to your baby. Besides, the story only entertained soccer mom/PTA moms.
There is a problem. Mocking him/her/it is mostly not constructive. It might help you deal with the sting of someone being wrong/ someone being right enough to make you reactionary. On the other hand this person is a jerk and ought to pay the consequence i.e. being the nameless villain of your online fanbase. I read your books, pat, in no small part for your wit and...well im not sure if charisma is the right word, but its the word that comes to mind. I want to read the mocking. Also, it's hard to resist wanting to know secret information.
That thing is a behemoth! Can't wait to read it. Have fun in Europe Pat.
You're kind of a celebrity now. Celebrities attract crazy people. Crazy people come in all forms...from just wacky to downright dangerous. You don't know what kind of crazy this person is. I would think 'I have a big book and a baby on the way. I really don't want some vengeful maniac bugging me because I mocked his stupid letter. Not worth even the slightest of risks.' You could always post the letter without comment -- seem to be enough smart asses on your blog to do the mocking on your behalf. Trust me, I will help out :)
let the mockery begin!!!
I also hope you have a wonderful time in Scotland... I went on a whim last summer and was completely blown away by its awesomeness.....
Erica
First, let me just say that I’m sure Sarah loves you for more than the size of your manuscript, but it is awfully impressive!
Ah, to mock or not to mock, that IS a conundrum. Hmmm, will mocking the letter/writer make others less likely to write letters in the future telling you how to live your life? Quite possibly yes, which makes it totally worth it. Also, if telling you how to live your life included references to Sarah and the new little one, they deserve to be spitted… none of their business what you do in your personal life. Especially at such a joyous time.
On the other hand, anyone who wants to be mentioned on your blog may now start writing you holier-than-thou letters just to see themselves published on such an illustrious site. This would still have the benefit of being fun for us though.
I’m going to have to swing my vote heartily towards MOCK, MOCK, MOCK. I do so love blistering sarcasm and it really would be cruel to withhold it from us at this point, with all of the anticipation you have created. I’m sure even those who voted the opposite are curious to see what some fan would have to say to you about living your life when it is obvious that you are already doing a fine job yourself.
-Fry Mama
By all means, mock! Here's how I see it:
1) Email-writer has read The Name of the Wind.
2) Therefore, email-writer cannot claim ignorance about your nature.
3) Email-writer was aware of the risk of mocking and has accordingly invited said mocking upon his head.
Like most everyone else, my vote is for mocking. Mocking is society's way of telling someone they're a dumbass. If you don't mock, said dumbass might just think you agree with him.
Mock it! Mock it! Make it squeal like the dying little piggy that it is!
Mock. How else are your antisocial fans going to learn how not to live their lives?
Then again, Neil Gaiman only ever gently mocks some of the truly ridiculous stuff he gets. If you take the moral high ground, you'll have a little company. (I personally live my life by asking myself, What Would Picard Do? And if I can't divine the answer, I go with What Would Neil Do? That takes care of most dilemmas.)
Absolutely mock...
And holy buckets that manuscript. I hope the book comes out that big, cause I need some heavy Kingkiller Chronicles medication to help me wait for book 3 while you're all being a parent and such.
Enjoy your world tour, and keep us updated :)
Remember Pat, that with great power comes great responsibility...
Therefor I say you should wear a superhero costume during the process of mocking him.
... it'll make us all feel better
Mock I say!! The person who sent you this apparent rubbish set themselves for a mocking. Therefore it would be a waste not to use your mocking talents to the best of your abilities.
Now that I made this huge effort to post this anonymous message saying that you should mock, I think you are obligated to do it.
Ps I love your blog, your funny as hell.
Pss In case your wondering, I also love your book, not just your blog.
Hi Pat!
When in doubt; mock.
It's how I live my life!
(Sorry couldn't help it, I am a slave to my sense of humor.)
Guns blazing mockery. Any kook that feels compelled to tell an author who has created such a unique vision how to do anything deserves the gas face. Fire away.
Yay for manuscript! That made my day!
Don't deny who you are, Pat. Mock him or it will eat at you and you'll snap mock people who don't deserve it, like Sarah or the baby. For their mental well being, Mock.
Really? Would ya even wanna know yourself if you didn't mock. Look inside and answer the question. And thanks for the second book; I wait with patience and reverence dear sir.
Kvothe would mock and do it to a tune. Mock!
That manuscript is a thing of beauty.
Also, by all means, mock.
MOCK,MOCK,MOCK! (DrumsDrumsDrums)
Seriously Pat you are my everlasting well of Joy with your mockering. YOu can mock those people i have to be nice and friendly too, and there are way to many clueless, controling, passive-agressive fucker who get their way, because noone iss howing them how stupid and the things tey say are.
SO let there be MOCKING TIME
'nuff said.
faster, pussycat - kill! kill!
Congratulations on finishing the manuscript. Seeing as you're an author, it must be quite an accomplishment to actually do your job some days.
I guess that's my way of saying, feel free to mock as much as you want.
Looking forward to Book 2; enjoy the British accent while you can.
Manuscript=awesome
Mocking=makes my day. I think You and George RR Martin should collaberate on a letter mocking combined blog.
Also Assholes are assholes. Mock, but dont be cruel.
Mock it up, Mocky Mockerson.
Release the beast.
Wow, you and Joe Abercrombie will miss each other by a week at the Manchester Waterstones. Lucky Manchester people...
Well, for those of us who lack the awesome powers of sarcasm and belittlement that have clearly been bestowed upon you, we thrive on watching a master do his worst... it allows us to feel as though that which we wish to say, but cannot convey adequately with our meager abilities, is said. And that makes us happy. Especially when we get to watch!
I would be honoured to stand out in the slavering hoardes for long enough for you to mock me. So yeah, I'm with the slavering hoardes on this one. MOCK!
-A-
Rome, eh? Pat, you lucky @#$%*&!
Oh, pleeaasseee mock. Puhlease. I live for your mocking. I live by the rule that if someone wants to behave as an asshat, then mocking should follow.
Would it be too much to ask for a few flicks of you two in Italy? *on bended knee*
And seriously--a 6 hour spellcheck? OMG, my eyes! My eyes!
And did you have to print it out to mail it? They wouldn't let you e-mail it, upload it somewhere, or put it on discs?? This is the 21st century, after all....or is that your "backup?"
Sweet lord, I think I broke into a sweat thinking about the release of WMF. Or it could just be a hot flash. Either way, I'm HOT for your book.
have fun!!!
Jules
Hey!! the manuscript looks awesome-can't wait for the the release, i'v been telling literally everyone i know how ace you are!... you should find out what the Romans think to the mocking if your followin the whole when in Rome thing?!? although personally i do find the rants hilarious :)
Have fun with your travels. x
Wow! Are you shure that there are gonna be only 2 more books? If I look at that...It would be a shame if you had to cut that down to a normal book size. Why don't you decide to write, I don't know, how about 10 books in total? I guess you wouldn't lack the content.
That manuscript is beautiful. And huge. Holy man.
Congrats on finishing it!!! Now enjoy Europe with your lady :-)
Amen to the manuscript being finished!
You should have posted a poll for the mock/notmock question.
Mock.
Hey, Pat! I've been reading your blog for a while now. Would you mind answering a question? I've got a little language problem with your name. I never know how to pronounce it. I am from Austria, so I pronounce it in a rather german way, like "Rotfuß". But do you say the english th or not? And ...fuss? Like the english word "fuss", with an a spoken in the middle? Or more like fuuus? It's kind of a problem to talk about a really cool author if you can't even pronounce his name correctly.
Mock! x5 (my co-workers agree)
mock,mock,mock!
please
ciao Pat, did you and Sarah enjoy your time in Rome? did you go to see piazza Navona, Piazza di Spagna and the Sistin's Chapel like i suggested to Sarah??
i really hope you did!!
and i also hope you put a coin in Fontana di Trevi, so you'll come back here!!!!!
My friend recommended your book to me and I loved it. Now that i am reading your blog I must put my meager two cents of opinion in and say that I think you should not tear apart this guy. Even if he is a complete DC.
Of course I'm going to say mock. Or maybe a nicer word would be critique. Yes... a critique can be soul-crushing and helpful at the same time, and you can't get angry at the person laying the smack down... I mean, giving the critique.
Word verification: pupen. What caterpillars do when they need to excrete. Or maybe what shitty writers use to write with.
Holy manuscript, Patman!
Have fun on your trip and think not of mocking until you return. Then my vote goes for it!
I vote mock. A-holes need to be mocked, or they never learn.
Okay, realistically, he won't learn anyway. But we will be entertained, and you will feel better for having turned his rant into something thaqt gave someone else pleasure. Don't want those skills to get rusty.
Congrats on finishing the draft, so that you are free to devote yourself totally to Sarah's trip to Europe. Enjoy -- I am sorry we're not in the UK at the right time to catch you.
MOCK! MOCK! MOCK!... we all love it when youre a dick
mock that futhermocker till he cries. It will only make him stronger
now that you have finished the manuscript you have plenty of time to mock your heart out
MOCK AWAY! So is this trilogy going to expand into a quartet?
Definitely mock. But more importantly, a finished manuscript is great news. I've lent my copy of book 1 to about 20 people and read it 4 or 5 times. I'm ready for #2.
I don't suppose you need a kidney? .....Pregnant pause for effect..... Asking cause I'd totally trade you one for like 4 days with that manuscript. :P I'd even look for typos if that has any swaying power beyond the kidney. Lol
BTW you should mock especially since you've told us all we wanna hear now.
My friend,
You know you want to mock, but you suspect wanting to do so may reveal a flaw in your character. So, you ask us to make the choice for you, so that you won't feel bad about doing what you want to. The problem is you already made your choice by asking us in the first place. Now it would be unfair to leave us hanging after first whetting our curiousity.
Of course I vote that you should dazzle us with your biting wit, bringing merriment into our mundane lives while simultaneously making us feel good about ourselves (by virtue of the fact that we are obviously less of assholes than the poor bastard that crossed you). I will follow up my vote with the suggestion that it may be profitable to search out a personal rather than democratic solution to this dilemma in the future. No doubt as a public personage you will be confronted by this situation again. You're a good guy, my friend, and you're blessed that your path will provide you so many opportunities to learn from those you encounter.
We LOVE the mocking! Please bring it on!
When is the baby due?? You need not be too specific if you feel it is too personal. Maybe a month for us to all anticipate with you?
sevedra
Congrats on the finished manuscript!
I hope you have a wonderful tour of Europe. It's so fantastic that you can do that.
I don't like mockery. People get hurt. Reputations get hurt. It does not make the world a better place. My aunt told me once, "If you couldn't say something nice, don't say it." When I succeed in living by that rule, I'm a much happier person.
Adrianne
mock 'em if they can't take a joke...
You may only use the powers of your Mock-Fu for good!
Stay good Pat! Stay good!
-ron
I'd like to see a good mocking, but I warn you, if you mock one letter you'll receive thousands more from attention seeking masochists who juts want to say that the mighty Patrick Rothfuss mocked them. I'm not speaking from experience, just assumption.
Mock the hell out of it.
Mocking seems to be the appropriate course of action. Awesome news on book two.
Pat,
It's awesome news to hear the first draft manuscript is complete. Though that still means it will be some time before WMF hits the shelves, it shows you're making progress and will shut up the passive-aggressive snarks for awhile. But those guys are like herpes, you can subdue them but they never really go away.
Um..yeah..moving along...
As for the mock or not to mock, I think as long as you use the ubiquitous "Susan" handle no one will mind. It will let you vent and give all of us mature people with a handle on reality something to laugh at.
Mock. Definatly mock. If someone has done something worthy of a mock than they should certainly be mocked for this mock worthy thing. Also, as i type this there is a comment from someone named Krik staring at me, and i just saw Star Trek so i am geeking out about it. And lastly, that manuscript is the most amazing thing i have ever seen in my life.
Mock away. If you are going to be and a**hole and offer advice to others on how to live one's life, One should have the forebearance to take it up the a**.
MOCK!!!!!!!!!!!!
Definitely mock. Mocking is a high artform, and we'd all love to see you in action.
btw - my daughter absconded my copy of Name of the Wind and it is now winding its way through the local high school intelligencia.
Jim in NC
Seeing that manuscript and not being able to read it shoulc be included in your definition of purgatory. Tell your editor to put some muscle in the hustle!
Oh, yeah, definitely mock. Can't wait.
Can't wait for the next book!!!!!!!
You have to be like Spiderman with your mocking abilities. You know, pull your punches to a semi-human level unless your fighting a super-villan!
On the other hand - you could just publish the letter and all of US mock him. That way your hands are (somewhat) clean. We still get some entertainment, not to mention the affirmation of how much smarter the vast majority of us are.
Jim in NC
I believe mockery to be the best and only option in this situation... You owe it to yourself to mock the fellow. There is no need for inner turmoil. To deny yourself the pleasure of some first rate mockery would be to deny nature... Nay, to deny God himself! You're celebrating a finished manuscript. In all celebration there must be fun. Mockery is fun. What would Jesus do? He would mock the hell out of this self-righteous fucker - and have some fun..
Let us see the mockery!
Congratulations on finishing the manuscript. That is indeed good news. Now, the anticipation thickens, ha ha. But that only makes the wait that much more worth it.
Now as to the jerk...
Post his tripe, and tear him to shreds. Use your literary word powers and shred him, piece by piece. Unleash your fire-crafted, stone-sharpened, bone splintering word power upon the unsuspecting yet well deserving moron.
You take too much, and absorb too much, you don't deserve it. You go without what most people consider the basic, necessary amenities, every day, in your day-to-day life up at your home. All for the satisfaction of your fan-base. The extra money I'm sure is a good perk, but it's entirely another thing to write at your scale and choose to let people intrude upon your own personal fantasy world. That takes guts, and I admire and commend you highly for it, and thank you for it. Not only that, but you've dropped other activities that you not only enjoy but were career jobs that you worked hard for and earned. It takes a lot of faith in yourself and your fans to do something like that. It is a sacrifice that not too many authors would make. That says something to me about your dedication and passion for your work. People who have the gall to criticize you unfairly or try to pull low blows deserve a good dose of scathing restitution.
So... let the beatings begin!!
Absolutely mock! I am salivating at the idea of hearing what this person said and being able to experience your response to said asshat. :)
Hi, found your blog through Brandon Sanderson's blog. I just finished Name of the Wind a few weeks ago and really enjoyed it--I'm looking forward to book 2, so congrats on getting in that massive draft.
I hope you enjoy your trip! Your blog is ever so entertaining. :)
I say, feel free to mock. You do have epic mocking skills. Why not use them?
please mock! they deserve it for spending the time to tell you, the great wise one, what you should do. And besides it will surely be hilarious. :)
Take the high road.
P.S. Why don't editors request manuscripts in digital formats? Printing out and shipping seems so 20th century.
Dear Pat,
I am... both disgusted and proud that, on the day you wrote this, you instantly got upwards of 140 replies. Go figure. I guess I am one of them. Obviously, I got to the party a little late. On a related note, I would happily drink sugar-free Kool Aide with you while playing Monopoly for six hours in purgatory.
I like how big the manuscript was, and commend you for completeing it! Now the world is one more step closer to enlightenment.
On an unrelated note, I am well. You are a good person, and not a dick, so I know that you would ask how I have been and what I have been up to. Because you have asked, I can type you that I have been very busy tearing down the set for my school's production of Of Mice and Men, taking an AP Physics Test (which I don't advise anyone to do if they have not been taught thermal physics, optics, fluid mechanics, or waves), and eating salmon with my girlfriend. Because you are not a dick, I think you could either (a) not mock said cute fan, even though he or she dared to tell you how to live your life, or (b) mock them with love. Like... "Pat. Your fire-squirrel is very cute. I suppose this is an accurate depiction of your high-school sweetheart. I love you."
As always (obviously in terms of me only typing to you for the past few weeks), I am just here to offer the insight of a silly, newly not-as-acne-covered teenaged boy. As always, I remain...
Respectfully Yours,
An Albino Druid
Purchasing Ice Cream From the Ice Cream Truck for $2.75 since 1992
Speaking of Neil (as Dixie did) who is speaking of you: http://journal.neilgaiman.com/2009/05/entitlement-issues.html
MOCK!!!!
I vote for a mock... someone who tries to tell you how to run your life, deserves the full spine-tingling, head shaking fury of your wrath...
plus I know it will be an epic mock to read...
oh and indeed... congradulations on the manuscript.. the sheer size of this thing... (now christened in my mind as 'it') is a true show of blood, sweat, and tears. Ripper effort. :)
For teh Mock! :-)
I'm with the majority, mock the cranky bastard.
I can say from the bottom of my heart; mock. Some people will be sure to think you look like a dick , but you'll be a dick that's standing up for yourself, and that's better than biting your knuckles and worrying what the internet will think of you.
Personally, I love you.
P.S. congratulations on the manuscript, but you didn't say anything about being happy, relieved, or proud of it. I hope you are, because I'm happy for you.
Super Mocking powers, huh? I won't believe that until I see it! ... Please?
Have fun on your trip! :)
Cheers,
Nyn
Mock, but in the Rothfussian way.
1: More comparisons between the books (in terms of word count) rather than sheer size. Surely double-sided and single-spaced would hack that pile down to like...a third.
2: (And I'm quoting here) If you're gonna play Poke the Bear, you better keep in mind the bear doesn't give a shit it's just a game. - Therefore, MOCK!
3: Have fun Pat!
So to give us even more perspective... how many words is the current manuscript?
If it's standard format with 250 words per page and it looks like 1500 sheets... that would roughly give us 375,000 words!
And yeah, MOCK!
1)Hope you're enjoying the euro-tour Pat, I expect a scorecard on frozen-burrito availability by city.
2)On the subject of mocking... Do you really think the twit in question deserves a public lambasting? If sending the letter was a simple matter of misjudgement (like your ill-advised short story readings a few years ago, nude was not the way to go) perhaps you should keep the vitriol a bit more private. "If you don't have anything nice to say, come sit here next to me." If the letter writer was encouraging you to work harder on the second book and uproot that bramble patch on your chin, you may come off as the greater boob in a public exchange. I guess my vote is mock him/her privately, then e-mail it to me, I can keep a secret!
3) To avoid spending six hours spell checking the next draft I recommend you learn how to spell. You could also demand your publisher kidnap one of those spelling bee geeks to handcuff to your desk for the next couple years, I recommend choosing one by size rather than ranking, less food, easier clean-up etc. You could also loan it out to other illiterate literaries.
4) For that Aussie, and anyone else, wondering how to pronounce Pat's last name: it sounds like moth-fuss.
5) Where is the spell check on this comment thing, can I borrow your geek for a minute?
Hopefully your editors won't go through too much ink on your draft, good luck.
Kirk
Hell yes!!!!! (also, you should definitely mock!)
Congrats on getting through spell check! Stay safe while traveling! And by all means MOCK, MOCK, MOCK!!
MOCK!!! Just leave out the prick's name.
And holy shit, Pat. That's what... 225,000 words or so? I'd be very interested to know the word count on that. I bet MS Word would be counting and give up at about 150,000, and then just continue with progressively more snide remarks.
So yours is probably up to the "My God, dickhead, no one can count that high. Not even a computer. But thanks for trying to make me melt. I'm glad you did that. If I melt, I won't have to spell check for 6 hours again. Dick."
Congrats, by the way, on finishing that manuscript. I'm sure it will be flawless and will be on shelves by late Summer. :)
If you are sure the letter didn't come from your dad, I say mock away.
I also came here to point you to mr. Gaimans latest blogpost:
journal.neilgaiman.com/
2009/05/entitlement-issues.html
It seems fitting ;)
all these people screaming mock!!! they're telling you to mock? so they are telling you what to do right? and what is it that your making fun of this guy for? well here's me telling you what to do. whatever YOU want sir master patfuss. Super glad about book 2. does anyone have an estimate of the process time it might take to hit the shelves. i've been jones-ing for a while (dollhouse was subsiding it) but unfortunately that is no longer the case...
I'm glad to see that your manuscript is done, I can't wait to read the final copy of it sir Still, take your time with it, we can wait. Though I dare say mock, mock the shit out of that person, no one should tell you how to live your life. Anyways, good luck and have fun, sir.
Well, did he tell you to live your life without mockery? If he didn't mention it at all, then the decision could go either way. A specific direction to avoid mockery, however, deserves some form of written retribution =)
Good lord! How much does that thing weigh? I wonder how it will compare with your other baby this year.
Another vote for "mock."
I say mock. Then again I'm a dick.
Was he just giving you tips on how to lift your manuscript without slipping a disk? Because if so...then you're a dick. But if he's a dick he's THE dick, so I say just be a dick. Tit for tit.
Did I help!?
don't mock, your revenge is his contribution to your bank account
Mock!
Another holyshit moment...Neil Gaiman just mentioned you in his blog. This means that you are indeed as awesome as we all suspected. You awesome guy.
Can't wait to meet you in Manchester. Enjoy Europe :-)
How could you not ask us, the readers who love Kvothe, whether to mock or not to mock and assume we would say anything other than mock? Unless that was part of your plan! Because now, you totally have to post the letter, right? Please?
I'd say Mock.If this person took the time out of their day to tell YOU how to live it would only be fair to share a bit of yourself and your "words of wisdom" with them.And i'm sure if you come off as a jerk but a jerk on a super hero level well... who doesn't like a super hero?Plus i need something to read while waiting for your book ~.^
I would love to see him mocked, but in a generalized fashion as you probably get a few emails like this now people are waiting for the books to come out.
Also Congrats on the book, glad to see it's on its way!
Check out the Capuchin and Vatican Crypts . Awesome sites in rome in addition to the usual ones.
Mock! Oh, and congrats on the manuscript!6 hours of spellcheck? Dear Lord your patient...
You could definitely let the letter stand for itself... then you'd be safe from the "jerk" remarks. But I, like others, would love your commentary. ;)
In answer to the folks who are wondering why publishers still request hardcopies--it's not that we don't use files or haven't joined the 21st century (files are sent too, nothing is retyped, and a Word doc is what the copy editors work on--not hardcopy). It serves a couple of purposes: backup copy; reference point (sometimes it just helps to look at something on paper); not everyone who works in publishing owns a Kindle (despite what you might think) and we still ride busses and trains that we read on; you can hand around snippets to others on the project to read parts as needed; etc. etc. It's part of the contract, so the writer sends it in. Some authors also like to give their book one last read on paper before they send it in to make sure everything's perfect. (Kids books are short and we can print out a 12-page manuscript quickly. Obviously Pat's costs considerably more in time and paper.)
But the most important reason? Electronic files can be changed (yes, even PDFs). Hardcopy can't. If there's any question of version, you can always go back to the original printed book to make sure nothing was lost, incomplete, altered, or what have you, from what the author intended.
I SAY MOCK PLEASE!
RE: Mock
Karma. You're traveling. JMHO.
About the book: HURRAY!!!!!!!
Mock: YES!!!!!!!!
Enjoy Rome!
Mock please!
And thank you for finishing the manuscript!
MOCK. Anyone arrogant enough to tell anyone else how to live their live NEEDS to be mcked deep down inside.
and feel free to mock me for writing live instead of life...
Mock!
Unsolicited advice deserves a good tongue lashing.
The dark side calls you to mock, Pat. The question is, are you feeling Darth-y or Skywalker-y?
no on the mocking. yes on the manuscript. it's a monster.
wv: crepe. really. it is.
Dude. Mock. Anyone who writes something like that and sends it to you ought to know better.
Mock!
I've just emerged from reading your book for the second time in a year (something i've never done before except for with school text's like Lord of the flies) and think you're an amazing writer. I think it's all too common now that sequels end up being twice the size of the book before and without half of the content. I'm presuming that this is mainly due to annoying people like the one you were talking about rushing them. Take your time writing a decent book and don't let the world get to you.
Mockity mock away! I shall be amused.
And congratulations on the manuscript!
I'm all about the mockery when they bring it upon themselves. Besides, now we're all curious and it'd just be mean to leave us hanging. :3
Please mock. It makes all of us feel better because we see how we aren't like those people.
MOCK. Need I say more?
Mock away good man!
I say thou shouldst mock, but in a manner light of heart. Verily it shall be a joy to be read, and the churlish knave shall have no offense to take.
What do you feed that monster?
Hope you have a fine time in Rome. Just don't get lost under Colosseum ;)
OMG ITS BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!
How about you ask the poor guy who sent you said letter if you should mock/not mock? After all its his self-esteem and virtual life on the line...
Have fun Pat!
MOCK!!! please oh please mock them!!!
-bounces with the excitement of reading an expert mockers mocking-
This post has been removed by the author.
Oh hell yea. Letting this go will leave one more asshole in a world still without a dipshit hunting season. Verbally raping and pillaging the sorry bastard is something I like to call "tough love" and may just help make the world a better place. And it will entertain us to no end.
Nice job on the manuscript, I look forward to losing gabboons of sleep over it and cursing your name to hell as I try to drown myself in coffee at work.
Mock, Please mock.
How's Amsterdam?
You have to mock, not mocking would be an insult to the rest of us.
Mocking may be fun but I think it's mean and should not be encouraged unless it's for the greater good. It's much better to have class and be polite.
Anyway, thanks for the eye candy. :D
NOUU Patrick !!!!!!
you were in Rome and I didn't know!
Just finished "Il nome del vento" , that's great!!!
please hurry your italian book distributor for translation for the 2nd book!i can't wait 1 year!:)
ciaooooooooooooooooo
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